


Lonesome Fathers

by prsseux



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Divorce, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse, i don't know how to tag things, i promised y'all a kaisoo fic and here it is, jongdae is also a child, junmyeon is a child, kaistal are besties, kid chen, kid suho, noting too graphic don't worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prsseux/pseuds/prsseux
Summary: Raising children is a very difficult thing to do, especially when you're alone. But perhaps, they don’t have to be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, it's ya girl back with another trashy exo fanfiction !! I promised you guys a while ago on twitter that I'd write a KaiSoo fic...after a lot of stalling, here it is. I don't know how many chapters this fanfic will have, but for now you guys can just enjoy the first one. I do hope you like it, I'm very excited about this whole plot. Anyway, I'll talk to you more at the end notes. Enjoy!!
> 
> \- lua

 

They had never been in love, not in the way it was expected of them.

What? With Soojung being a raging lesbian and Jongin being gay, they could never really love each other as more than friends. Which was what they were when their parents forced them to marry.

They had been best friends at the time, bonding over high school and then terrible lectures at college, and their mutual fear of coming out to their parents. It didn’t shock them to know that people - including their parents - thought they were a couple. In fact they quite play around with it too. Soojung used to say she was thankful for the little rumour as it kept men from trying to approach her. And Jongin related to that.

None of them imagined back then that their little game would turn on them like it did. Jongin had never pictured himself walking down the isle shaking, not in anticipation to meet his lover, but with anxiety of what was to come. Didn’t expect to cry at his wedding, not with sheer happiness and elation for finally getting married to the man he loved, but with sadness to know that both him and his best friend were having such an important moment in their lives ruined.

Soojung had known what was expected of her as a wife. Remembered having her mother drill into her head from a very young age, that a woman should please her husband, should cater to his every need, should bear his children and never embarrass his name - to her it had never made sense, but now that she was actually getting married to a man, it was all she could think about. She dreaded to think about it during the months that preceded the wedding, but as soon as the ceremony was over her mind rushed with those thoughts. She knew not only that her parents would expect her to bear a child soon, but also that Jongin’s father would hate him even more if he didn’t prove himself to him.

Many times had she curled up next to him as the boy’s father screamed about how no son of his would be gay, that Jongin would only make him proud when he impregnated his future wife.

And while she had never wanted children of her own, she knew Jongin loved kids and dreamed of being able to adopt a child or two with a man he’d fall in love with. However, given that they were married and had no choice, both would have to settle for what they had.

Neither one of them had ever been with the opposite gender, gold-star gays as people would say, and that made their first night at their honeymoon very awkward. Soojung had suggested they just get it out of the way as soon as possible, secretly hoping not to have to repeat what they were about to do too many times before she got pregnant. Jongin agreed, nervously nodding and worrying about how he could make this as enjoyable as possible for her.

It was awkward. Very awkward. The act itself took them a few minutes to get going, finding it hard to get aroused by each other. They were friends, not to mention both were homosexual. They had never thought about one another like that.

 

That night was filled with hesitant touches, whispered apologies, embarrassment and no satisfaction.

 

In the years they spent married, Jongin noticed a slight strain in their friendship. He figured it would happen, both of them having to keep the image of being in love with each other around everyone. The first year was the hardest and the easiest one, both freshly out of college they barely had time to see each other. Too busy trying to establish their professional careers. And yet the stress of learning how to pretend to be in love and happy was much more suffocating.

Soojung and Jongin were only happy when they were at home. Within the walls of their apartment they could go back to being best friends. Could forget about the golden bands around their fingers to just be Krystal and Kai - pranksters and best friends since high school.

By the end of their second year of marriage, Jongin’s father began to pressure him even more to give him a grandchild. The man had always suspected about Jongin’s homosexuality and each day that passed without being given the news that Soojung was pregnant only made the man angrier.

Luckily for Jongin and Soojung, by the end of their second year, after a few months of feeling terribly ill in the morning and being more tired and usual, Soojung decided to make an appointment and get herself checked up, only to call Jongin an hour later sobbing her eyes out while telling him she was pregnant.

Soojung had been happy - happy that she had made her parents proud, had fulfilled her 'duty' as a wife and had not embarrassed their name. She was happy for Jongin, whose father would probably leave him alone now. Happy for her herself that would also be free from her parents pressure for a grandchild.

 

But she was also terrified. Terrified because she wasn’t ready to have a child. Wasn’t ready to be a mother and much less to carry said child for nine months.

 

Jongin was so supportive, he had helped her as much as he could and he had promised her, during a pretty bad contraction where Soojung demanded the nurse and doula to leave them alone for a few minutes, that he would do anything in his power to set them free. That they would raise this child together but no longer bound by this fake marriage that was slowly killing them.

 

She had smiled up at him, the most sincere _thank you_ coming out of her lips before another contraction took her attention.

 

Twenty-four hours later, a healthy little baby boy was born to Jung Soojung and her husband Kim Jongin. They named him Jongdae and both of them knew while they watched the baby nursing for the first time that they’d do anything to keep him safe.

 

That had been four years ago. And now, a happily divorced Jongin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and listened out to the telltale _pat-pat-pat_ of a toddler’s feet of the cold wooden floor.

At four years old Jongdae was the light of Jongin’s life. His little boy was not only the brightest child he had ever seen but he was also the kindest and loudest one too.

He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep again. It didn’t take him long to hear the door opening, a little annoyed huff as the toddler struggled to climb up on the bed and then to feel little hands patting his face.

“Daddy! Daddy wake up!" his son screeched, and Jongin couldn’t help but to smile brightly at the sound of the little boy’s voice. Swiftly he wrapped his arms around the four year old and cuddle him, pretending not to noticed as he squirmed trying to get away from him.

“Good morning, Dae” he smiled, opening eyes only to be met with a pouting Jongdae, whose sulking didn’t last long as he giggled and latched himself against his father.

“Are you excited for your first day at preschool?” Jongin asked, getting up with the child still in his arms. Jongdae replied with a confident “yes” and proceeded to ramble about how excited he was to learn new things and make new friends throughout their whole morning routine.

While he walked Jongdae to school, Jongin struggled to come to terms that his son was already 4 years old, that he was already going to school. That he was growing up. He called Soojung the night before, and embarrassed himself by crying to her about how time was going by so fast. He was ashamed to admit that he was more nervous about this whole situation than Jongdae, the little boy skipping and singing his own made up song on their way to school.

 

Once there, Jongin was forced to let his baby go.

 

“Be good okay, Dae?” He said, kneeling down and placing a kiss on top of the boy’s head before handing him his little backpack.

Jongdae, being the sweet and perceptive angel child he was, noticed that his father was upset and struggling. Thus before leaving, the little boy hugged his father’s legs and said. “I’ll be back soon! You be good, daddy! Bye bye”

Jongin laughed to hide the fact that he had wanted to curl up and cry. He didn’t deserve such a sweet boy. He stayed there until he saw Jongdae get inside the school, and then he turned around, only to see a smaller man and a child walking up to the school’s gate.

For some reason, Jongin felt compelled to watch their little interaction. He rationalised it by saying to himself that he wanted some reassurance that he wasn’t the only dad having trouble letting his baby go.

The shorter man seemed to be struggling too, although looking much less emotional than Jongin had been - and still was. The child however, made Jongin’s heart clench. Then little boy was so small, almost as if the wind could completely knock him on the ground. He also looked terrified, and yet didn’t uttered a word, didn’t scream or cry like some other children had done. He just waited until his father had stopped talking, accepted his goodbye kiss and made his way into the school.

Jongin realised that he had been staring for too long when the other man looked back at him. “This is never going to get easier, is it?” He said, trying to make small talk.

 

“I am afraid not…” the man mumbled, his voice deep and soothing, strangely sad. And then with a silent nod, the man walked back to his car.

 

Jongin took that as a sign to go home, and slowly made way there. His mind playing back the scene between the man and his son.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look at me, posting the second chapter so soon! That's what you call progress kiddos. This chapter is gigantic so I'm splitting it in two. This is part one. I hope you enjoy it! Also, sorry if you find any mistakes, I write these on my phone, and I do try to read through it and fix my typos but sometimes they do escape me. 
> 
> -lua

He had always known what to do. Life had never been a mysterious endeavour to him.

From a very young age Kyungsoo already knew what he wanted to be when he grew up - and when asked he would say that he wanted to help people.

As he grew into a teenager more plans were added next to that very childish dream. Kyungsoo now added starting a family of his own - getting married to a pretty girl, having a child or two, watching them grow and settling down as an old couple, then eventually dying peacefully in his sleep.

Quite a grim prospect for most, but Kyungsoo had always been a realist at heart. He didn’t expect to live forever thus he saw no problem in thinking about his death.

 

Meeting Hyojin made him change his views a little bit.

 

He had never been in love before. He had seen plenty of movies and read many books that described how it felt but upon meeting the beautiful and strong girl, Kyungsoo knew that they all lacked the right words to really describe such a powerful feeling.

 

It was love at first sight.

 

Moon Hyojin was funny, talkative, tiny but also fierce, the type of woman that refused to let people walk over her or ignore her.

 

And how could Kyungsoo not fall in love with such a force of nature?

 

People said they were meant to be - soulmates based on the way they seemed to complete each other. Hyojin brought Kyungsoo out of his shell, coaxed more smiles out of him, made him talk a little bit more about trivial things.

Kyungsoo, however, calmed her down. Made her think her actions through, got her to take a break from not only work but from being such a social butterfly. He managed to make Hyojin think about herself more.

 

Their relationship went strong during high school and their first years of college. But then, things started to go down hill.

 

Kyungsoo, still set on his childhood plans, got into medical school, and there he knew that he really wanted it. Really wanted to help people, to save lives. Hyojin decided to try Law school, but never really settled for it. She spent months and months trying to find something she actively wanted to study.

During those months her father got tired of supporting her, and decided enough was enough. He cut her off.

Kyungsoo was shocked, but he assured her they’d be fine. He’d look after her, and that’s when he started working part time as a way to support not only himself but his girlfriend.

He knew Hyojin was not okay, could see it in her eyes as she stared blankly ahead during dinner. Or how she ignored him for days before going back to being herself again.

 

Obviously she was going through a hard time, and Kyungsoo loved her so he was determined to get her through it.

 

Two years went by and Hyojin was still the same, she’d get better and then crash back down once again. A roller-coaster of emotions and fights would usually breakout in their tiny apartment when Kyungsoo asked her what could he do to help.

He was exhausted - not only of trying to help and being met with sharp, hurtful words but of being the sole provider, of studying so hard to be able to give her a better life in the future and getting nothing in return.

He still loved her, he would tell himself every night. He still loved her, he would think when his heart started fluttering not when he thought about his girlfriend, but when the student that sat next to him during their anatomy lectures would smile shyly and ask him what had just happened because he wasn’t paying attention.

 

That was all very confusing, and Kyungsoo for the first time in his life did not know what to do. Did not know what path to follow.

 

So he stuck to what he knew. To what was familiar.

 

One night, Kyungsoo came home to the delicious smell of kimchi stew, and the sound of Hyojin’s bright voice as she sang along her favourite boy groups. That alone managed to put a smile on his face.

 

Maybe she was all better now?

 

In all those years she had never been this happy. Had never reverted back to a personality so similar to when they first met. And he could not help but to get his hopes up.

That night they ate, and laughed and talked. And as they made love, Kyungsoo could not help but to accept the fact that he no longer felt that same burning passion and overwhelming love for Hyojin as he did before. He still cared deeply for her, she was familiar, comfortable and safe. Which is why as they both reached their climaxes, Kyungsoo whispered a tiny “I love you” to her. 

 

Years later he would realise that she never said it back.

 

A week after that night, things went from bad to worse, Hyojin not only became aggressive but she now completely disregarded the fact that Kyungsoo was the one that was supporting her financially. They were both struggling, his part time job barely paid him enough to keep them afloat.

And with his girlfriend now going out to party every night, Kyungsoo had had to make a few changes in his life. Those had been mainly related to food. Deciding it was okay for him to go hungry for a while if it meant being able to pay his tuition and the rent.

He was worried about her health, worried that something bad would happen to her while she was out so late. And he tried to tell her that, to reason with Hyojin that this wasn’t good for her. But he was met with screams and violence every time.

 

Kyungsoo grew wearier as the month went by and two months later, when he received the news that his girlfriend was on the hospital he could not even bring himself to be surprised.

The lack of shock he had for her situation initially, skyrocketed once he arrived and was told that his girlfriend was four months pregnant. His whole world disappeared form under his feet. And he could only vaguely remember the questions he bombarded the doctor with.

 

Was his baby okay? Was Hyojin okay? She hadn’t been eating properly, had it affected the baby? What about prenatal care?

The doctor was able to calm Kyungsoo down, carefully informing him that the baby was fine and that they could start the prenatal procedures today with no problem.

 

Kyungsoo knew things were going to change drastically now that they’d become parents. He only hoped Hyojin would keep the baby’s health in mind.

 

And that she did.

 

She allowed Kyungsoo to take care of her, and she also stopped going to to parties, stopped drinking and sleeping around. He wanted to believe that the change would be permanent this time, but Kyungsoo no longer trusted her.

 

Five months and ten hours later, a small and frail baby boy was born to Moon Hyojin and her boyfriend Do Kyungsoo. Hyojin did not want to hold nor see the baby after the labour, and so Kyungsoo named him Junmyeon.

And while he looked at the tiny baby nursing - from a bottle that the nurses had handed Kyungsoo, telling him to feed his baby - he promised himself to do everything in his power to keep his baby safe.

 

His first promise to his son was broken, very soon after it was made.

 

Kyungsoo had taken it to justice in order to take the legal guard of the baby from Hyojin. The woman however played the judge very well, convinced him that she was the perfect mother. And Kyungsoo was only allowed occasional visits

He remembered begging her to take care of his baby. Remembered almost shedding tears as he asked her to please not put their child at risk. Hyojin had ignored him, only replying with a nod as she took the infant away from him.

 

Without Hyojin, and most importantly without his son, Kyungsoo threw himself back full force into his studies. He was miserable, but did not allow himself to mope. That one sentence written in childish handwriting kept him going.

 

Help people. That was what he wanted to do.

 

Kyungsoo got to visit his son on the weekends. Those were the only days where Kyungsoo would smile. Not even when Chanyeol, the guy that sat next to him during anatomy lectures and almost always made a fool of himself, could manage to make the shorter male smile.

 

The years passed and soon Junmyeon was no longer an infant, soon he was two and then three years old.

 

That’s when Kyungsoo started to notice something was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two is coming right up, I know I should probably wait a little before posting it but my anxiety won't let me do that. Which is bad for me && great for you guys, I guess?? I hope you've enjoyed this chapter <3 
> 
> -lua


	3. Chapter 2 part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! I hope you enjoy it <3 
> 
> -lua

Junmyeon had always been a quiet baby, but now he looked like he was scared to speak. Kyungsoo also noticed that the toddler would try his hardest to muffle his cries and barely ever made a noise. Flinching every time someone spoke louder than a whisper, or his tiny hands lost their grip on a toy and it fell loudly onto the floor.

His son looked as if someone would punish him for making a sound, for acting like a toddler. He was always scared, always watching his back. And Kyungsoo didn’t want to imagine why his baby at the age of three would ever need to do that. He didn’t want to think that his son was abused.

 

But that was exactly what his mind and heart told him was happening.

 

When Junmyeon was four, he was to stay with Kyungsoo after preschool. The man was excited since he only ever saw his baby on the weekends, and now, the prospect of seeing him during the week improved his mood immensely. 

 

Everything went as it normally did, Junmyeon was still very cautious but seemed happy as he silently played with Kyungsoo. The now doctor was all smiles as he came up with several different voices for the colourful dinosaurs Junmyeon loved so much.

“Are you hungry, Junnie?” He asked, it was almost time for dinner but Junmyeon hadn’t eaten anything nor drank water in a while. “Why don’t you go grab us a cookie, while I sort this mess here and then we’ll make dinner?”

The little boy smiled and nodded, before silently making his way to the kitchen. Kyungsoo sighed, happy that Junmyeon was finally comfortable enough around his house to go to the kitchen by himself.

 

“Dad…?” came the small hesitant voice. “I can’t reach the jar” Junmyeon spoke and Kyungsoo chuckled, making his way to the kitchen only to get there and halt on his spot.

 

Junmyeon had been trying to reach for the jar on top of the counter, and his little blue shirt rose up to reveal countless purple bruises decorating his pale skin.

Kyungsoo gasped and Junmyeon froze. The toddler tried to quickly pull his shirt down, trying to hide the bruises from his father, and Kyungsoo would never forget the amount of fear he could see in his son’s eyes.

He knelt in front of the child, hands immediately being placed on the toddler’s sides, gently holding him in place. “Honey….” he whispered, voice trembling with emotions he couldn’t quite categorise at that moment.

 

“Who did this to you, Myeonie?”

 

The terrified little boy shook in Kyungsoo’s hold, but seemed to realise that his father wasn’t angry at him. That he wouldn’t be punished. And so, swallowing thickly, Junmyeon replied.

 

“Mommy….”

 

“Your mother did this to you?” Kyungsoo spoke softly to Junmyeon, even though he wanted nothing more than to wreck havoc on his ex for hurting his son.

The boy shook his little head, fluffy black hair following the movement softly.

 

“No, mommy just screams a lot….her friends, they hurt me”

 

That was it. That was the last straw.

 

He remembered very little of that night, he recalled calling Yifan - one of the few friends he had made during his residency, a giant Chinese man who had no only managed to worm his way into Kyungsoo’s heart but carved himself a place into Junmyeon’s too.

After that everything was very much a blur of angry calls to his lawyer, calls to the police, and bursting through Hyojin’s door screaming at her and whoever was the man with her.

Kyungsoo managed to get full custody of Junmyeon, and Hyojin was not allowed to see him without Kyungsoo or Yifan being present.

 

A year later, things were starting to settle down.

 

Junmyeon was still quite shaken by the whole ordeal, but was also much happier now that he knew his home was safe. That he was allowed to make noise - although he still tried his best to stay silent, but most importantly, that he was loved and allowed to act like the five-year-old boy he was.

Kyungsoo was glad Junmyeon was getting better, watching as his little boy spoke more, ate more and played more, was able to make the man feel an unimaginable amount of happiness. However, he knew that while comparing with Junmyeon from two or three years ago these result were great improvements, they were still far from being healthy five-year-old boy standards.

The therapy was helping a lot, even if Junmyeon still got anxious and cried silently every time he had to go, and held Kyungsoo’s hand tightly before he was ushered inside the room with his psychologist, Kyungsoo knew it was worth it.

 

With a sigh, Kyungsoo stopped himself from reminiscing. He had to get Junmyeon ready for school.

 

Slowly he made his way to his son’s room at the end of the hallway, the little boy had picked that particular room because it was the one with the most natural lighting in the apartment. As silently as he could Kyungsoo opened the door, and smiled at the sight before him.

There, still blissfully asleep laid Junmyeon, curled up in a tiny ball under his blanket, dinosaur plushie held tightly against him. He walked up to the bed and knelt down, a hand gently caressing the boy’s face.

 

“Junmyeon-ah, it’s time to wake up…”

 

The little boy did so immediately, tiny eyes blinking open - fear and alarm shining through them before he realised it was his father who was there. And then he melted once more, warm brown eyes growing sleepy again.

 

“Nnn..” the little boy whined, and Kyungsoo laughed, knowing fully well that _that_ was Junmyeon speak for “good morning, dad”.

 

Their morning routine was done quickly and efficiently. And soon both were driving to school. Kyungsoo could see that Junmyeon was growing nervous as they approached the parking area, school was always stressful for his shy little boy.

 

He helped his son out of the car and walked with him up to the gate.

 

“Have fun today, alright?” Kyungsoo whispered and he knelt to look straight into his son’s eyes. They'd always communicated like that, silently assessing each other’s moods. “And remember if you feel like you need to call me, you can. Also don’t be afraid to talk to Mr. Lu if you feel too overwhelmed.”

Kyungsoo watched as Junmyeon nodded and before letting him go, the doctor placed a soft kiss on the boy’s forehead.

 

“Be good. I love you.”

 

He watched his son go with a heavy heart. He hated to be away from the child.

He got up and turned around to see a tall man staring at him. Kyungsoo stared back, holding the man’s gaze. He was handsome, but the smaller felt slight uncomfortable.

 

“This is never going to get easier, is it?” Tall man asked, his voice strong but soft and friendly.

Kyungsoo smiled a little, the corner of his lips curling up slightly. “I am afraid not…” and with a nod he went back to his car.

 

He didn’t want to be late for work.

 

And on his way there, his mind replayed the scene with the friendly looking guy at the school’s gate.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you guys. It's slightly shorter than the others I think, but it is very wholesome and happy so I think that makes up for it? Also please excuse how sparse??? this chapter sounds, I was feeling emotional at 3 a.m. and even though I tried to edit it, I still think it's a bit confusing. But I liked it enough to post it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this <3 
> 
> -lua

When Jongin was younger he had never imagined himself doing things like this. Being so domestic.

Sure, he knew he’d have to look after himself - but tidying up the house every day, actually going grocery shopping? That was something he hadn’t quite imagined himself doing.

Not that he’d ever complain. After all, he did those things more for Jongdae than for himself. And he loved his baby boy so he was glad to be able to take care of him.

 

Still, it amused him to think back to his teenage dreams.

 

He had wanted to be an idol. To dance and sing until the whole world knew who Kim Jongin - or Kai as he and Soojung had decided was a cooler more edgy name - was.

He didn’t exactly become an idol. And while many would say that it was a pity and assume that he was unhappy, in reality it was quite the opposite.

 

Jongin had taken a different path after Jongdae was born, and instead of walking into the spotlights he decided to work behind the scenes. As a choreographer.

He quickly became very famous in that field and got the opportunity to open up his own dance studio. Obviously he knew he couldn’t do it alone and so Jongin called Oh Sehun, one of his best friends to work with him.

Now they both ran the studio, and the younger of the two liked to say they were businessmen. But Jongin would never take his job that seriously. He was aware that they were, in fact, businessmen but the word sounded so strict and lifeless and boring. He refused to call himself that.

 

To him, he was just Kim Jongin, choreographer and father.

 

Speaking of which, he had not stopped gushing about his son to Sehun. The moment he called his associate, Jongin had immediately begun telling him all about how it was Jongdae’s first day at preschool and how the little boy had been so exited.

Despite pretending to be annoyed at him, Jongin knew Sehun was loving every minute of it. The blond man was very weak for Jongdae and like Jongin, would be reliving preschool vicariously through the little boy.

 

Throughout the day, as Jongin went about his tasks, he would find himself thinking about the man he met in the morning. There was something very interesting about him.

 

He wasn’t sure if it was the man’s voice, so soft and smooth and warm, but carrying a hint of sadness in it. Or if it was his face, sculptured with a sharp jawline, big eyes and heart-shaped lips. But something about him had caught Jongin’s interest.

 

Which was silly, after all they had just met. And barely spoke to one another. Why would he be thinking about that man anyway?

 

The choreographer mulled over those thoughts for a while before realising it was time to pick up Jongdae from school.

 

That made him perk up a little.

 

He was very excited to hear everything about Jongdae’s day, from his introduction to his classmates to nap time and what dreams did he have. No mater how tiny, every little experience was important to Jongin.

 

The walk to school seemed to take longer than usual and Jongin grew more excited. He missed his baby, and he couldn’t wait to cuddle him up and hear all about his day.

 

Once he arrived at the school, he only had a minute to prepare himself before hearing the very familiar voice screaming.

 

“Daddy!!!”

 

And then a little bundle of excitement and happiness was running in his direction and jumping into his arms. Jongin laughed brightly, ignoring the other parents who probably thought he was insane as he twirled with his son held safely in his arms.

“Hi baby! I've missed you so much” he said, peppering tiny kisses on Jongdae’s chubby cheeks and feeling himself almost explode with love as the little boy squealed and giggled happily.

“I missed you too daddy! Today was so fun I can’t wait to come tomorrow” Jongdae spoke excitedly as they began to walk home. Well Jongin started to walk home, Jongdae sat comfortably on his dad’s shoulders.

 

“Oh really? Well, you have to tell me everything about it then” he prompted the little boy, who smiled brightly before he began.

 

Jongin paid attention to his son’s every word, reacting honestly to everything the little boy told him. But the part that caught his attention the most was when Jongdae began to speak about another boy.

 

“And then when it was snack time, Ms. Seulgi let us eat with our seniors! And she said that because the first grade class is very small, they could have playtime with us too!!” Jongdae gestured wildly even as Jongin set him down at the entrance hall.

 

“I was kind of tired so I decided to draw and I sat down next to this boy. He didn’t talk to me a lot or anything but he was really so cool, dad!”

 

“How so?” Jongin asked, now busy preparing Jongdae’s bath.

 

Measuring the amount of bubbles was serious business. Jongin would hate to repeat last year's Christmas eve disaster.

 

“Well, I was upset because I kind of lost my green crayon so I couldn’t colour the trees and the grass. B-but then, Junmyeon hyung gave me his box of crayons!”

 

As Jongin tried to keep Jongdae still enough for him to wash his hair, the man smiled knowing that his son was already making friends. Not only that but he had apparently made friends with a _‘hyung’_.

 

 

If that wasn’t cute, Jongin really didn’t know what was.

 

 

“Wow, Junmyeon hyung sounds really cool” he agreed, gently rinsing the shampoo off Jongdae‘s hair.

 

The little boy was almost bouncing with excitement as they finished getting ready to eat dinner and he continued with his story.

 

“And then, when I was done with it, I asked hyung what did he think!” the boy paused, swallowing his spaghetti and taking a sip of his grape juice before continuing. “And he said it was pretty! He liked my drawing, and so I gave it to him as a gift, daddy!”

“That so sweet, Dae! I am sure your hyung was very happy” Jongin laughed, a bit disappointed that he didn’t get the drawing, but happy to imagine the face the first-grader must have made upon receiving such an innocent gift.

 

 

After dinner, Jongdae was growing sleepier by the second, and his little story was not making much anymore sense, still, Jongin was listening. Even as he held the boy close, trying to lull him to sleep.

 

 

“I signed my name and everything...so Junmyeon hyung won’t forget me” Jongdae mumbled, blinking his eyes heavily as Jonging laid him in bed and tucked him in.

“Why would he forget you, baby?” he whispered, running his hands through the boy’s soft black hair.

 

He was legitimately curious about that.

 

“...‘cause he is a senior, and ‘m just a newbie…” he paused, blinking and yawning. “...’s what Baekhyunie said…”

 

Jongin chuckled and watched as Jongdae lost the battle against sleep. His heart felt less heavy now that he knew his son had made friends at school and was excited to go back.

 

 

Slowly, Jongin went back to the living room. He needed to update Sehun on Jongdae’s day. And also be updated on today’s gossips.

He spent a few hours on the phone with his friend, laughing until they both we’re almost on the verge of crying, before deciding it was time to go to bed.

 

Curled up under his duvet, Jongin allowed his body to relax. And was quick to feel the edges of his mind blurring up and being overtaken by sleep.

 

That night, he dreamt about a sunny afternoon, Jongdae laughing and running around being chased by another little boy whom Jongin couldn’t recognise.

 

And in the middle of that dream, Jongin dreamt about big doe eyes, a soft warm voice and heart-shaped lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to apologise for the cute SuChen in this chapter because it has healed by sad sad soul as I wrote it. So I do hope you've enjoyed this. I'll try to write the next chapter tonight, but we'll see. It's literally so hot my brain is melting #SaveLua2k18. Anyway, I'll see you soon <3
> 
> -lua


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's me. Sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. In truth I'm not feeling very good these days, so it was hard to write. Which is probably why I don't like this chapter very much. But I do hope it's enough to keep you entertained while I come up with the next one. 
> 
> -lua

Kyungsoo didn’t really have much time to keep thinking about the handsome man he met at his son’s school. As soon as he got to the hospital he was being surrounded by nurses and patients.

He loved his job - it was the realisation of his most fundamental dream, the dream that kept him going even when he had wanted to give everything up. And yet sometimes it could grow a bit overwhelming.

To have the responsibility of healing could weight incredibly hard on a person, specially when you failed to do so. But doctors weren’t gods, they couldn’t always help. And that was the only part Kyungsoo hated about his job.

 

Still, he kept going. From patient to patient, trying to help as many people as he could.

He was kind and gentle, which is why most patients took a liking to him. Even children, who usually were terrified, were okay with seeing Dr.Soo.

 

The young doctor, despite focused on his patients and on his duties, still had his son in the back of his mind. He wondered how was Junmyeon doing - was he having fun? Had he eaten lunch yet? Was he okay?

 

 

He supposed it was normal. After all, parents never really do stop thinking about their children. Not even after they grow old.

 

 

The day passed by very quickly, Kyungsoo not even having time to eat as he was called in for an unscheduled surgery. When he finally got time to sit down in his office, Yifan poked his head through his slightly opened door.

“Do you want me to go pick Junmyeon up?” the gentle giant asked, his brown eyes sparkling with concern for the younger male.

Kyungsoo shot up and looked at his watch. He was two minutes late! _Fuck_. “No, no. Thank you, hyung. I got it”

 

“I’ll lock up for you. Your shift is over anyway.” Yifan stated as he watched Kyungsoo gather his things.

 

 

“Tell Junmyeon Uncle Fanfan misses him very much!” the Chinese man screamed as the younger doctor walked out into the parking area.

 

 

In record time, Kyungsoo made it to the school only five minutes later. He was nervous that Junmyeon would be upset at him for being late. Which was illogical given that his son was very smart and knew that sometimes being a doctor meant being late.

He was also excited to hear about Junmyeon’s day. He always hoped to see his baby smile as he spoke about the things he did at school. But that rarely happened.

 

With quick steps Kyungsoo made his way to the gate, and soon his eyes found the little boy he was looking for. Junmyeon was standing there, his little backpack safely on his back, while he clutched something to his chest.

 

That in itself made Kyungsoo’s curiosity spark.

 

“Jun!” He spoke, perhaps a little louder than he used to, but he was not disappointed when his little angel looked up startled, only to smile the cutest and brightest smile Kyungsoo had seen in a while. Upon seeing that, the man couldn’t stop himself from mimicking the adorable smile with one of his own.

The boy ran up to his father, still clutching something to his chest. “Hi, honey” Kyungsoo said as he scooped his son up, relishing in the feeling of finally having Junmyeon secure in his arms.

 

So maybe he had a bit of separation anxiety, but that was totally justified.

 

“Hi dad…” Junmyeon mumbled softly, nuzzling his head on his father’s shoulder. He felt happier now that his dad was there. And that he was being held. The child had always been quite clingy, loving to snuggle up to people he trusted.

While he took the boy to the car and strapped him up on his chair - Junmyeon was already at the age he could ride without the chair, but he was just so small, Kyungsoo figured he could wait until Jun was six or seven to really stop putting him in it. Once they were ready to go, the man asked how was the child’s day at school.

 

“It was nice…” was the answer Kyungsoo received as he started to drive them home. He smiled, something different had happened that day. Usually Junmyeon would just say it was okay.

 

“Really? That’s great, Myeon.” he encourages the boy to continue. “Tell me more about it! Did you play with Yewonie today?”

Kim Yewon was one of Junmyeon’s only friends. She was a year younger than him and had taken a liking to the quiet boy. They were a perfect pair, Yewon being quiet and gentle herself. “Yewonie wasn’t at school today. Miss Joohyun said she’s sick, dad” Kyungsoo could practically hear the little boy pouting, but that confused him.

 

 

If Yewon hadn’t been there, than what caused Junmyeon’s day to go from _‘okay’_ to _‘nice’_?

 

 

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that, baby” he really was. Kyungsoo had met Yewon and the little girl was a sweetie. “So did you spend playtime alone?”

As they walked up to their apartment, Junmyeon holding the piece of paper carefully in one hand while the other was firmly holding onto Kyungsoo’s hand, the little boy answered.

 

“No…Jongdae sat next to me during snack time and he played with me later too”

 

Kyungsoo could swear he saw a faint shade of pink dusting his son’s pale cheeks as he spoke the other boy’s name. “Who’s Jongdae, Junnie?” He asked while cutting up Junmyeon’s kimchi spaghetti. The little boy could do it himself, but Kyungsoo preferred to avoid the mess that day.

“Uhh…my friend?” Junmyeon replies hesitantly. The little boy wasn’t sure what Jongdae was, in fact he was a little bit shocked that someone so bright like Jongdae would ever befriend him.

 

“H-he drew me a picture…”

 

Only then did Junmyeon let go of the piece of paper he had been holding. He slid the drawing across the table so Kyungsoo could look at it. The ensemble of trees, flowers and dinosaur-looking creatures were enough to make the doctor smile. He’d make sure to stick the paper on Junmyeon’s wall later.

 

“Wow, that’s really pretty. Look he even signed his name! Is Jongdae in your class, baby?”

 

“No. He’s my dongsaeng…” Junmyeon said it with a little smile, and Kyungsoo was glad to see how he spoke so happily about his new friend.

 

“I can’t believe this!” Kyungsoo teased as he snuggled up with his son, both of them now showered and ready for bed. “My Junmyeonie is not only an _oppa_ , but also a _hyung_! When did you get so grownup, huh?” the man giggled as his tickled the little boy until they were both cry-laughing.

“You’re his hyung too, dad” Junmyeon said in between giggles, and then he climbed on his father’s chest.

 

“Yes, but I’m old. You’re still my baby.”

 

They spent the next moments in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. Kyungsoo gently rubbing circles on Junmyeon’s back as the five-year-old lay on his chest.

While he missed having another adult presence in his life, the doctor mused as he watched Junmyeon slowly get sleepier and sleepier, that in all the moments of his adult life, he had always been happiest when it was just Junmyeon and him.

 

“Jun? Do you want me to take you to your room now?” He whispered, a hand moving to gently brush the boy’s soft black hair away from his face.

 

The little boy shook his head, eyes already closed and chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

“No….” Junmyeon managed to mumbled, curling himself up into a ball still in Kyungsoo’s chest. “I sleep here t’night, daddy”

Letting out a chuckle, Kyungsoo nodded and pulled the blankets on top of them.

 

“Sleep well, Myeonie.”

 

Despite his tiredness, it took Kyungsoo a while to sleep. He looked around his room, the pictures of baby Junmyeon decorated half of their apartment, including his own room. He smiled, and turned his head to the side. And there at his bedside table was the little drawing Junmyeon had been clutching all night since he came back from school.

Trying to not wake the boy up, Kyunsoo picked up the piece of paper carefully. His tired eyes lingering over the childish drawings. He could not help himself when a big smile graced his face.

 

“Thanks, Jongdae…” he silently whispered. Grateful that this little boy had reached out to his son, and had made his Junmyeon so happy.

 

With that, he allowed himself to fall asleep.

 

And in his dreams he watched as his son and an unknown little boy ran after butterflies. But he was not alone under the oak tree, next to him there was the man he thought about throughout the whole morning.

 

The man with the soft voice, and a friendly-looking face wrapped an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder and turned him back to the scene of the two little boy chasing each other before saying.

 

“It’s never easy to watch them grow up, is it?”

 

 

“I am afraid not…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it. Sorry it wasn't great, but I'll hopefully start feeling better soon and the next one will be a lot greater. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you very soon? 
> 
> -lua 
> 
> p.s.: my love for gfriend's umji made me include her in this story as junmyeon's friend && i am so not sorry about that. stan gfriend !!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the late update, christmas has made me incredibly overwhelmed, just yesterday I had a complete breakdown, and for some reason I am now in excruciating pain on the right side of my body so I wasn't really in the mood to write, but even so I managed to flush out this chapter for you guys. I hope you enjoy it! Also happy holidays and whatnot <3 I'll try to be better at updating this >-<
> 
> -lua

Five month into his son’s journey as a preschooler and Jongin was absolutely sure of two things.

 

> **1.** Parents who complained about having their kids talk about school non-stop are stupid and should not be taken seriously. Soojung and him had never been more happy to see how much Jongdae was enjoying preschool and every adventure the little boy shared with them was definitely the highlight of their days.
> 
> **2.** He was sure he knew little Junmyeon a lot more than he should for someone who had never actually met the child. Jongdae had made sure to fill him in on Junmyeon hyung’s favourite foods and colours and even words. He wasn’t really sure when he signed up for Junmyeon course 101 but he was glad he got a free subscription anyway, because Jongdae was always his happiest talking about this mysterious - but no longer so unfamiliar- boy.

 

He truly enjoyed spending time with his four-year-old and would do so as much as he could, however Jongin was an adult - a businessman at that and he had a lot of things, boring grownup things to tend to as well. And even if he could count on Krystal, Sehun and Yixing, they were also working adults, therefore sometimes Jongin had to make it work.

 

So as he got the little boy ready for school, the dancer could see that Jongdae was a little mopey - sad that he wouldn’t spend the weekend at his mom’s house because she had travelled to the US again. And also upset because his father would probably be late to pick him up today.

Jongin had a series of meetings and while usually he’d try to shove all of those to Sehun and Yixing, this time he had no choice. The company they were going to sign a contract with had specifically requested that he be present. So this time, instead of a skipping little boy, Jongin had a quiet and clingy toddler.

 

He carried his son to school, cuddling him close and trying to cheer him up on the way.

 

“You promise to try, daddy?” the little boy asked, big brown eyes sparkling with hope. And Jongin didn’t want to give him false hope, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell the little boy that he had no control over the duration of his meetings.

“I promise to try to get here on time, baby Dae” he reassured him, placing a loud and wet kiss on the boy’s chubby cheek, heart soaring as the toddler squealed and tried to push his face away.

 

“Now go on, you don’t want to be late, do you?”

 

And with that he watched his little boy run into the school. His mind switching from loving dad to serious businessman as he walked to the station, already thinking about the astronomical headache he’d get by the end of all the meetings.

 

Jongdae was happy.

 

Despite not being able to see his mum this weekend, things were going great at school that day. Baekhyun hadn’t tried to bully him into doing something ms. Seulgi would disapprove, his dad had packed him peanut butter sandwiches and soon he’d get to play with Junmyeon hyung.

 

Still, thinking about his mum did put a pout on his usually happy little face.

 

Now, Jongdae loved his dad - he wouldn’t trade him for anything nor anyone in the world, but he also loved his mum. He would never tell his father, but mum had the best cuddles. She was softer, and more cuddly than dad. Which is why she always managed to put him to sleep in seconds.

 

The little boy sighed again. Junmyeon hyung was late.

 

Jongdae knew the older boy was probably helping little Yewon with something, and he was definitely not jealous - because Yewonie was sweet and kind and she always shared her snacks with him willingly, because apparently he was nicer than Baekhyun, whom she almost never shared snacks with.

 

“You’re sad…” he heard that soft soft voice before he saw the older boy. And immediately the frown on his face vanished. Jongdae turned to look at Junmyeon and gave him a very bright smile.

“Hyung!” he exclaimed, a hand reaching out to grab onto Junmyeon’s coat. “You’re late hyung ~” Jongdae whined, and smirked as he saw the older rolling his eyes.

 

“Sorry, I was helping Joohyun noona to put some stuff away” the quiet boy replied, a small smile making his chubby cheeks look even chubbier.

 

They proceeded to play for a while before Junmyeon asked him something. “Jongdae-ah…” he called out, and little Jongdae’s heart did that weird fluttery thing he didn’t know how to explain.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why were you sad?”

 

Junmyeon’s question was asked very softly, as if he was afraid of what Jongdae would do. And Jongdae didn’t know why he would sound so scared to ask a simple question.

 

“Oh, that’s ‘cause I won’t be able to go to my mum’s house today…” he mumbled, very focused on building his Lego tower. “And dad said he will be late to pick me up today because of some grownup stuff he has to do”

While he spoke, Jongdae failed to notice that Junmyeon tensed up at the word ‘mum’, his little shoulders stiff and hands gripping the red crayon tightly between them.

“Oh…” Junmyeon replied, shyly looking at the younger boy. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that just because he didn’t have a good relationship with his mother didn’t mean other kids were like that too. He could see that Jongdae loved his mother very much. “Sorry…”

 

“Don’t be! Dad promised to try to be on time! And besides, mum will bring lots of presents from the US”

 

The time went by pretty fast after that, lots of giggling and running around. He liked spending time with Junmyeon hyung, it was always fun without being too overwhelming like it could be when it was just him and Baekhyunie.

And soon Jongdae was waiting for his father outside the school’s gate. He was disappointed that his dad wasn’t there yet, but at least Junmyeon was there with him. The older’s father still hadn’t arrived yet.

 

They waited for a few minutes - which felt like years for the two young boys, before Junmyeon smiled and screamed.

 

“Dad!”

 

Jongdae watched as his hyung ran up to a man, he looked tall but Jongdae knew he wasn’t as tall as his daddy. He saw Junmyeon whispering something to his father and then both were walking in his direction.

 

“Hi, you must be Jongdae” the man said while he knelt down in front of him, he held Junmyeon hyung’s hand as he did that too. “I’m Kyungsoo. Junmyeon’s father”

Jongdae bowed in greeting just like his dad had taught him to do, still a little bit too shy to speak but feeling excited because he had just met Junmyeon’s dad!

“Junmyeonie tells me your father will be late to pick you up, right?” Kyungsoo asked him, and Jongdae nodded.

“Yes, sir…”

“Oh, honey just call me hyung, okay?” Junmyeon’s father told him and that made Jongdae finally relax, a bright smile gracing his features.

 

“Okay, hyung!”

 

Junmyeon then decided to softly interrupt their conversation, as he leaned over to whisper his suggestion to Jongdae.

 

“Can I really?!” The younger screeched, causing both father and son to jump a little in surprise. “Can I really wait for my dad at your house, hyung?!” he turned his big eyes to Kyungsoo, and the man nodded with a smile on his face.

 

“Of course, we just have to let your father know that. Do you have his number so we can call him?” Kyungsoo asked, already pulling out his phone.

“Yep, it in my backpack! Daddy says it’s for emergencies” Jongdae explained struggling a little to pronounce ‘emergencies’ as he pulled out a flashcard with his and his father’s information.

 

Kyungsoo smiled and did not fail to notice Junmyeon’s little smirk. Jongdae’s cuteness affecting them both.

 

“Do you want me to call? Or would you like to do it yourself?”

 

The four-year-old was surprised, he had never been asked that before. “C-can I do it?” He asked, blinking his eyes at the man.

“Sure. Here you go, make sure to tell him that I’ll text him my address so he can pick you up, okay?”

 

And with that Jongdae proceeded to carefully dial his father’s number and waited for him to pick up.

 

“Hello? Who is this?”

 

His father’s voice was very different now that he didn’t know he was talking to Jongdae and that amused the little boy.

 

“It’s me, daddy!” He exclaimed, giggling happily just because he missed the sound of his father’s voice.

“Jongdae! Baby, what’s wrong?! Whose phone is this? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay! I just wanted to ask you something!” and the little boy proceeded to explain the situation to his father.

 

Jongdae spoke so quickly, his excitement making his voice sharp and high-pitched. The little boy practically jumped up and down as he pleaded with his father.

 

“Alright, baby. You can wait for me at Junmyeon‘s house. Please don’t forget to ask his dad for the address! And be good, alright? I’ll try to pick you up soon”

“Okay. Bye bye, daddy! I’ll see you soon. Love you!” And with those sweet words the little boy hung up.

 

“He said yes!!”

 

Kyungsoo watched as Jongdae and Junmyeon hugged each other, a soft smile on his face as he quickly ushered the boys into the car.

 

Before driving them home, he texted the number Jongdae had dialled.

 

And soon, they were on their way to his flat. Two little boys singing songs and Kyungsoo laughing as they tried to get him to join them.

 

 

 

In the middle of his meeting, Jongin felt his phone vibrate. Quickly taking it, he read the message from the unknown number.

 

**From:** _Unknown number_

 

**( SMS ) :** Hi, this is Kyungsoo. Junmyeon's father.

 

**( SMS ) :** I’ll send you the location to my apartment so you can pick Jongdae up.

 

_location being sent…_

 

Jongin smiled, relieved that Jongdae was safe and with Junmyeon. He couldn’t really reply as he was soon asked an incredible amount of questions but he’d make sure to shoot Kyungsoo a message once the meeting was over.

 

But for now, he needed to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! KaiSoo are finally going to meet can y'all believe this?! Next chapter promises many wholesome interactions, so be prepared. For now that's all, I hope you're having a great time & I'll see you soon.
> 
> -lua


	7. Chapter 7

Kyungsoo had never taken care of two children at once, and he had always imagined it to be difficult. But Jondgae and Junmyeon were proving to be quite easy to handle.

Sure, Jongdae was louder and much more energetic than Junmyeon - and Kyungsoo didn’t really allow himself to think about why was that because he didn’t want to be sad - but he listened well and was very eager to please his hyungs.

 

Besides, Kyungsoo wasn’t really alone. He could always count on Junmyeon to keep an eye on the younger boy. The doctor would trust the five-year-old with his life, knowing that Junmyeon was responsible enough to look out for people even at his young age.

 

The first thing he watched Junmyeon do as soon as he opened the door to his flat was help little Jongdae out of his shoes. Being a year older, Junmyeon was less clumsy than the four-year-old thus such tasks were a little bit easier for him.

Kyungsoo was amused, and unbelievably proud, as his son helped the younger boy place his little shoes on the shoe rack by the door before quickly ushering him to his room. Probably too excited to show Jongdae his toys.

 

With a fond smile Kyungsoo too got rid of his shoes, and slowly he dragged his very heavy bag to his study, placing it somewhere without thinking too much. He’d come back to it after Junmyeon was asleep, he had to take a few things out and replace some other things before work.

 

As he walked to his son’s room, he couldn’t help but to think how surreal it was that he was taking care of two children on a Friday night. A year ago, he wouldn’t even have his son with him, and if he were honest with himself, he’d probably still be at the hospital - being scolded by Yifan and fussed over by every nurse and Chanyeol.

 

But now there he was, about to face a great challenge: bathing two very excited toddlers.

 

“Kids…?” He called out softly, slowly poking his head into Junmyeon’s room to see both little boys playing on he floor. Lots of Junmyeon’s teddies and dolls carefully arranged into a semicircle facing the two boys. It appeared as though they were having a very important meeting.

“Am I interrupting something?” he asked, a small smile on his face as he leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms.

Junmyeon shook his little head, but Jongdae took it upon himself to explain the situation. “We were about to decide who’s going to be the leader of our superhero group, hyung~” he whined, a little pout on his kittenish lips.

“Sounds like a very tough choice, you guys” he chuckled, very amused by this new concept. A superhero group starring Jongdae, Junmyeon and a plethora of the boy's stuffed animals.

 

The world was truly in for a ride.

 

“It is” Junmyeon mumbled, a frown on his little face. “I was saying Princess Leia should be the leader, but she doesn’t want to be…” he pointed at the doll to his left, a disappointed look on his face.

“Well, won’t this be much easier to decide when you’re both clean and comfy out of those school uniforms?”

The five-year-old seemed to ponder, thinking about what his father suggested very carefully before agreeing with a nod.

 

Jongdae however, was left a little confused by Kyungsoo.

 

“Is it bath time, hyung?” he asked, and was pleasantly surprised when the man picked him up and settled him on his hip.

It was odd, he was used to being picked up and snuggled by mum and dad, even Sehun hyung and Yixing gēgē, but Junmyeon’s dad was different. It felt a lot like when his own dad’s picked him up and Jongdae quite liked it.

 

“Yeah, it is bath time, Dae-ah”

 

In the movies, bathing two children was always a task to be taken seriously - and done very carefully to avoid the whole house being flooded. And yet, while Kyungsoo was prepared for the worst, he found himself pleasantly surprised by how calm and behaved Jongdae was.

 

Junmyeon had always loved water - bath time was one of his favourite moments of the day. He’d always loved to soak in the tub, surrounded by bubbles, warm scented water and toys, staying there until the water grew tepid and a little too gross even for someone who loved water as much as the little boy did. 

Jongdae too seemed to have an affinity for water, as he grew even more energetic the moment he was carefully placed into the tub.

 

Kyungsoo, after being helped by Jongdae to measure the right amount of bubbles, went about softly scrubbing their skin clean. Careful to get rid of all the sweat and grime without hurting the children’s sensitive skin.

 

Washing their hair was always a very fun event, this time Junmyeon was given a hairstyle akin to bunny ears - or horns but Kyungsoo decided not to mention that - by Jongdae. And in turn, the five-year-old gave his dongsaeng a pretty cool mohawk.

He helped them rinse their hair free of shampoo and conditioner, laughing along as they chatted and played in the water. All in all, bath time was filled with giggles and carefully controlled splashes.

 

Once the boys were dressed more comfortably, Junmyeon’s clothes fitting Jongdae perfectly as the older was quite small for his age, Kyungsoo decided it was time for dinner.

He had checked his phone a few minutes ago and there were no messages from Jongdae’s father so he figured the man was still busy.

 

And Kyungsoo was not about to let those kids go hungry any longer.

 

“Let’s take this meeting to the living room, okay? I’m going to be making dinner and I don’t want to miss out on this important decision” the doctor said, helping the kids take their toys to the living room. He’d like to keep an eye on them, even though he knew they were safe within his flat, one was never too careful.

 

As he heard the kids playing, Kyungsoo went about making dinner. He decided for something simple and easy, nothing too fancy. He had chicken breasts and sweet potatoes so he’d just roast those, make some salad and call it a day.

The familiar routine managed to ease the last bit of stress in the doctor’s mind. Preheat the oven, season the chicken, peel the potatoes and make the salad. It was all very mechanical and he enjoyed that. It allowed his mind to finally empty itself of all worries.

 

He sat on the counter after setting the table, he still had to wait a good thirty minutes for the food to be ready, and he didn’t want to interrupt the kids, so he pulled up his phone.

The first series of texts were from the one and only, Wu Yifan.

 

 **From:**   _galaxy hyung_ 🐉🌌

 **( SMS ):** u okay? the kids kill you yet?

 

 **To:** _galaxy hyung_ 🐉🌌

 **( SMS ):** ㅋㅋㅋ they aren’t that bad hyung

 **( SMS ):** you should see them tho

 **( SMS ):** myeon is so happy! hyung I’ve never seen him this carefree

 

 **From:** _galaxy hyung_ 🐉🌌

 **( SMS ):** I am just making sure, can’t have you getting overrun by toddlers lmao

 **( SMS ):** well i only work with pictures so you better spam me with the good stuff

 **( SMS ):** and by that I mean adorable pictures of bunnymyeon and his little friend pls

 **( SMS ):** hey that’s not true, he’s like that all the time when he’s with you ! !

 

 **To:** _galaxy hyung_ 🐉🌌

 **( SMS ):** is he? I’m just so glad he found Jongdae

 **( SMS ):** also I should probably let you know that Jun hates that nickname ㅋㅋㅋ

_Sending two images…_

**( SMS ):** here you go ㅋㅋ

 

The second series of messages was from the number he had saved as Jongdae’s father.

 

 **From:** _Jongdae’s dad_

 **( SMS ):** Hi! This is Kim Jongin, I’m Jongdae’s dad!

 **( SMS ):** I just wanted to thank you for letting Dae wait for me at your house, I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.

 **( SMS ):** So really, thank you so much 🙇🏻

 **( SMS ):** I’ll be picking him up soon!

 **( SMS ):** also how’s Jongdae doing? he’s not being too much trouble is he?

 

 **To:** _Kim Jongin_

 **( SMS ):** Hi. It’s quite alright, Jongin-ssi! I understand the situation you're in

 **( SMS ):** And I am sure you would have done the same for Junmyeon, so really you don’t have to thank me :)

 **( SMS ):** alright then, I’ll be waiting

 **( SMS ):** Jongdae’s been an angel, he’s no trouble at all. I’m just about to serve then dinner so I’ll talk to you soon.

 

With that, Kyungsoo locked his phone and put on his oven mittens.

 

Time to feed the kids.

 

“Junmyeon-ah, Jongdae-ah come eat dinner” he gently called out, already putting food on their plates before the kids could even get there.

“Woah!” Both little boys exclaimed, eyes sparkling at the sight of food. They must have been pretty hungry.

 

The doctor was about to start helping Jongdae cut up his food when the doorbell rang. With a sigh he turned to look at Junmyeon.

 

“Can you help Jongdae cut up his chicken while I get the door?” His son nodded immediately and Kyungsoo quickly made his way to the door.

 

As soon as he opened it, his eyes went wide. There, right in front of him was the man he had met five months ago - the one he shared a few words with and now occasionally appeared in his dreams.

 

“C-can I help you?” Kyungsoo asked softly, staring up at him still quite shocked.

 

The man smiled, and nodded before saying.

 

“I am Kim Jongin. I’m here to pick up my son”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to attempt to apologise, I have come to terms with the fact that I can't seem to follow a schedule so I'm posting this chapter as a peace offering !! So I hope you have enjoyed this and I'll try to be back soon <3
> 
> -lua


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a job and anxiety has been kicking my ass, so I've got not motivation to write whatsoever and still that same anxiety is pushing me to post this even if this particular chapter feels quite rushed at the ending. I hope you like this though! I'll try to write more during the weekend <3 
> 
> \- lua

Jongin had never driven so fast in his life. The moment he was done with his last meeting, the dancer ran out of the door barely bidding Sehun and Yixing goodbye before he jumped into his car.

He missed his son - missed Jongdae’s voice, his laughter, his hugs. His little boy was the light of his life and Jongin was definitely not used to being away from him for so long.

Pulling up Kyungsoo’s location, Jongin anxiously made his way to the other’s flat. He was nervous about this situation - despite being very grateful for the other man’s help, Jongin didn’t know him and to trust him with his son’s well-being was such a hard thing to do.

The wait for the elevator to reach the seventh floor was hellish. All he wanted to do was hold his baby boy, why was God pushing him like this?

Walking out into the corridor, he looked for apartment number 365. And once he found it, his heart began to beat even harder.

 

Finally.

 

He rang the bell and waited. Soon enough the door opened and Jongin was left speechless.

 

That was the guy! The guy from Jongdae’s first day at school! That meant Junmyeon was the tiny little boy that had tugged at his heartstrings for being just so…tiny.

“C-can I help you?” the shorter man asked softly, looking just as shocked as Jongin himself.

 

“I am Jongin. I’m here to pick up my son” he replied, a bright smile on his face as he expectantly eyed the other man.

 

He watched as Kyungsoo shook his head, and opened the door wider. “Right. Of course, please come in” his deep was voice still very soft and it sounded very pleasant to Jongin’s ears.

 

Jongin walked in and politely took of his shoes. He didn’t want to stay long and impose even more on Kyungsoo’s hospitality.

“Have you eaten? I just served them dinner so you could join us if you’d like…” the smaller man trailed off, sounding a bit flustered.

“I have not, although I really don’t want to abuse your hospitality, Kyungsoo-ssi” he answered, scratching the back of his head, also feeling a little shy all of the sudden.

“Nonsense. Besides, Jongdae looked really hungry so I think we should let him eat” Kyungsoo said softly before stopping, and if Jongin hadn’t been paying attention he might have bumped into the smaller man.

 

Before them played a scene Jongin would never forget. The sheer cuteness of it almost melting him into a puddle.

 

“Do you need help again?” Junmyeon asked Jongdae with the softest voice, his eyes focused on the younger as he chewed his food.

“Yes, please!” Jongdae replied happily, words jumbled as he spoke while he had food in his mouth.

 

What killed both adults, though, was what Junmyeon said next.

 

“Here. Hyung will teach you…” and then he proceeded to guide a very happy and amazed Jongdae on how to cut his meal up into perfect bite sized portions.

 

Jongin really had to make an effort not to squeal and when Kyungsoo looked up at him, he knew he was not completely alone there. The look in the other’s big doe eyes telling him that he was suffering just as much.

 

“Jongdae-ah, look who’s here!” Kyungsoo called out and Jongin could not help but to laugh as his son turned to look at him like a deer caught in the headlights - well, he resembled more a squirrel with his cheeks all puffy and full of food.

The dancer figured that was the reason while the little boy didn’t call out his name, and opted instead to squeal and lift his arms - a clear sign of ‘ _pick me up_ ’.

Immediately he walked into the kitchen and scooped his baby into his arms. Finally relaxing completely as he cuddled the four-year-old close to his chest. There was better feeling than to hold your child after being away from them for so long, Jongin felt as if he was holding his whole world within his arms.

 

While he held Jongdae, the man could not help but to notice the other child in the room. The little boy who had previously seemed so comfortable now looked a bit uncertain. He could also notice Kyungsoo placing another plate on the table.

 

Jongin had no intention of scaring Junmyeon, thus he tried to make himself seem a little smaller. A little less intimidating.

 

“Hyung! This is my dad!” Jongdae suddenly exclaimed as he was placed back into his chair. Causing both adults to chuckle, and Junmyeon to jump a little.

 

The older child bowed respectfully, whispering a soft “Hello” before clinging to his father’s legs. And before Jongin could reply, Jongdae spoke once more.

 

“And dad, this is my hyung!”

 

Once again the younger boy brought out chuckles out of the grownups, even little Junmyeon joined them. Still smiling, Jongin knelt down so he could look at Junmyeon in the eyes.

 

“Well, hi Junmyeon. I’m Jongin, but you can call me hyung, okay?”

 

After introductions, dinner time went about as smoothly as dinner always is when you have two young children. It was filled with laughter, jokes and an attempt at a food fight that was quickly shut down by Kyungsoo, who looked a little exasperated as Jongin joined the little ones in pouting over it.

 

The dancer helped the other man to clean up the kitchen while the kids played.

 

They talked softly to each other, still feeling a bit of the awkwardness of first meetings, but when Kyungsoo suggested they moved to the living room and talked some more, Jongin was not able to refuse him.

“Would you like something to drink?” the smaller man had asked him in between chuckles. It had probably been about an hour since they first sat on the couch after cleaning up the kitchen. They talked about a lot of things, their jobs, they early childhood memories and most importantly, their kids.

 

"Ah, a glass of wine would be awesome right now but I’m driving so…” he said, mourning the fact that he hadn’t taken an Uber. Jongin was surprised by how comfortable and quick he had become accustomed to Kyungsoo. The older man was so easy to talk to, so funny and so kind. It was unusual for someone as shy as Jongin to get along so well with someone he had just met.

 

The dancer was brought back from his thoughts by Kyungsoo’s small giggle.

 

“I have grape juice” the doctor said, lifting a perfectly shaped eyebrow while a playful smirk graced his heart-shaped lips.

 

“Oh, hell yeah” Jongin laughed, shaking his head at how ridiculous they were being.

 

And soon both adults found themselves sitting side by side on the couch once more, giggling and sipping grape juice out of wine glasses while sharing funny anecdotes from their early stages as single fathers.

 

Very much like their glasses, which went from being full to empty, their conversation too died down. However they were not left in an uncomfortable silence, the one that’s stifling and nerve wrecking. This was, well, comfortable. Soft and warm in a way Jongin hadn’t experienced in a long time.

 

The dancer took a look at his watch and gasped. It was already 1 a.m., the time went by so fast he didn’t even realise it.

 

“I should go” he whispered, too afraid to break up that comfortable atmosphere around them. He watched as Kyungsoo took a look at his phone and smiled when the doctor’s eyes went wide.

“Wow, time really flies when you’re having fun, huh?” The shorter male mused and Jongin had to agree with him.

 

Slowly they took their glasses to the kitchen, and Kyungsoo insisted he didn’t worry about washing it. He said he’d just do it later in the morning. And then, they walked to Junmyeon’s room, knowing that by how silent it was in there both little boys were definitely in dreamland already.

 

As they predicted, Junmyeon and Jongdae were curled up next to each other on the fluffy carpet. The older boy curled up into a little ball, while Jongdae had his tiny arms wrapped around him protectively. It was such a cute sight Jongin couldn’t help but to take a quick picture with his phone.

Very gently Jongin managed to untangle his little boy from the other child, cradling him close as the four-year-old mewls in protest. With the corner of his eye the dancer watched as Kyungsoo not only took Junmyeon into his arms but also gathered all of Jongdae’s things.

 

He also saw Kyungsoo gently tuck the sleeping boy in his arms in, and then silently motion for Jongin to follow him. The smaller man did everything very slowly, and Jongin smiled knowing he did not want to wake up Jongdae.

Once the other unlocked the door, Jongin stepped out. He turned to look at Kyungsoo, a bright smile on his face.

 

“Thank you again for this” he whispered, adjusting Jongdae in his arms as to protect him from the cold air of night a little better.

 

“It’s fine, really” the smaller man replied, doe eyes looking soft as he stared up at Jongin.

 

“So I’ll see you around” the dancer whispered and winked, before quickly turning on his feet and walking to the elevator.

 

“Yeah, see you…”

 

He heard before entering the lift and watching it close.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been a long time since I've uploaded this fic I think! And I'm sorry about that, things just got a lot worse and yeah I'm dealing with struggles when I deserve nothing but snuggles. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. This is going to be a big one you guys, I've kind of written down the whole skeleton of this fic and boy oh boy do I have a lot of chapters to write. At least you guys have something to look forward to <3 I'll stop rambling now. Enjoy <3
> 
> -lua

After their first encounter, meetings between the two fathers and their sons became much more frequent. Jongdae and Junmyeon begging their parents to set up play dates and walks in the park - and because neither Kyungsoo nor Jongin could resist their children, they found each other getting closer too. 

Kyungsoo grew to like Jongin, in the doctor's opinion he even did so a little bit too much for his own liking. After Hyojin, the doe-eyed male hadn't allowed himself to have feelings for anyone - even his friendships were very selective, only really trusting Chanyeol and Yifan around his son. So for him to feel butterflies in his stomach every time the younger man laughed - a high-pitched sound, much cuter than a grown man should be allowed to make - or even when he'd watch Jongin be oh-so-soft around his Junmyeon. 

 

It shouldn't be happening! 

 

The doctor thought he had locked that part of his heart away a long time ago, making the decision to be devoted solely to his son. 

 

But apparently not.

 

He had spoken to Yifan about it. Well, more like the older man had sat him down and 'put the cards on the table' as the Chinese nurse had said. Remembering that conversation was not something he liked to do, especially since that day had been so nice - Junmyeon had been a lot clingier than normal, asking for cuddles from both Yifan and Kyungsoo, they had watched cartoons and binged on sugary snacks until late in the afternoon. And then Yifan dropped the bomb on him, and completely killed part of his good mood.

"You like him, don't you?" he had said, sipping his coffee and cringing over how bitter it must have tasted against all that sugar coating his tongue.

"Who? Junmyeon? Of course I like him, he's my son" Kyungsoo had pretended not to know what Yifan was talking about, and that only resulted on a cookie getting thrown at him by the giant across the table.

 

The older had taken another sip of his hot drink before speaking again.

 

"Don't get cute. You know damn well I'm talking about Jongdae's hot dad" the words left Yifan's lips and Kyungsoo all but choked. 

Jongin was attractive - he would have to be a fool, or blind not to see that the younger man was very beautiful, and as Yifan had put it, hot. Still, he had not been ready for that to be said out loud right to his face, specially since he had not found anyone that attractive in years.

"He has a name and it sounds nothing like _Jongdae's hot dad_ " Kyungsoo had mumbled, taking that chance to seek revenge by throwing a cookie at the older man. "And of course I like Jongin, he is a very nice guy"

 

That had sounded lame even to himself, which was definitely not a good sign. Yifan's laughter and gummy smile told him that the older had also not bought that excuse either.

 

"Oh, come on Soo!"  the nurse had shaken his head, placing his mug on the table "This is a good thing! You like him, you're single and so is he! Go for it" the Chinese man had sounded so excited and proud, and Kyungsoo hadn't really known what to say to him.

"I-I don't like him like that" he had tried, his voice had been so meek and uncertain, which just gave Yifan more weapons to use against him. "I b-barely know him, hyung!"

 

Again, Yifan had graced him with the rare sound of his laughter, but this time, Kyungsoo had not found it as adorable as usual.

 

"Please, you know him a lot. For Christ's sake Soo you know the guy's favourite colour, his favourite food, his favourite fucking number. Don't lie to my face like that."

That...that had been the absolute truth thrown straight in his face. And as Yifan spoke, Kyungsoo's mind had provided him with all the answers he had familiarised himself with. A tie between red, black and sky blue. Fried chicken or roast duck. The number 1. Not only that but Kyungsoo knew most of Jongin's favourite things, and the more the thought about it the more he realised just how screwed he was.

"I doesn't matter..." he had said, getting up and dumping the rest of his cold coffee into the sink. He remembered thinking about how was Yifan still drinking that. 

"What do you mean it doesn't matter!" the taller man had exclaimed, before remembering that Junmyeon was napping on the couch. "You can't be serious, Soo."

 

"It doesn't matter because I'm not putting Jumyeon through this again!" he had hissed, turning to face his hyung with doe-eyes looking wild, hands shaking slightly. 

 

This was his biggest fear.

 

To put Junmyeon through what Hyojin had put him through gave Kyungsoo nightmares, he just couldn't. And that fear would always grow stronger when he saw his little boy shrinking in the presence of strangers - of other men. Even if he knew the therapy was helping the boy, he couldn't bring himself to risk it.

Kyungsoo would rather die alone than to hurt Junmyeon the way Hyojin had hurt him. His little boy was everything to him, and Kyungsoo would not survive watching Junmyeon go back to what he was when he first got custody. 

"Soo, you can't live your life alone just because of what happened with Hyojin" Yifan had gotten up by then, his large hands were placed on Kyungsoo's small shoulders and the doctor recalled feeling safe. Yifan was his best friend, the one who literally took care of him when all he wanted to do was work until he died. "Jongin will not hurt Jun, you know that. You told me how much Jun likes him, and how much they are getting along."

They had talked some more, discussed pros and cons of the gigantic and terrifying decision Kyungsoo had to make. But their conversation ended on a hopeful note. Yifan peppering hundreds of kisses on Junmyeon's cheeks while the five-year-old squealed and Kyungsoo laughed.

 

"Promise me you'll give yourself a chance." the Chinese nurse had said, looking down at Kyungsoo. And the doctor had sighed, holding the door open as the older stepped out. 

 

"I'll try, hyung. I'll try."

 

Because of that particular conversation, Kyungsoo found himself sitting at a cozy table near the window on a small coffee shop. Jongin had gone to the counter to get their orders. 

 

This 'date' wasn't really set up by him, which only fuelled his anxiety. What could Jongin possibly want to talk to him about, that couldn't be heard by their children?! For once, Kyungsoo was not worried about Junmyeon - he had called Chanyeol who was more than happy to play babysitter for the time period. And to his surprise, Jongin too had called a friend, someone called Yixing to look after Jongdae.

Even if Junmyeon was now in the presence of a stranger, Kyungsoo knew he could trust Chanyeol to take care of the little boy. Besides, from what Jongin had explained, Yixing was a very good guy.

"Here you go..." Jongin came back, startling Kyungsoo out of his thoughts. He was a welcome distraction, since the doctor didn't really want to full on panic just yet. "An espresso and a muffin for you..."

 

"And a latte and cake for me!"

 

The younger's voice make Kyungsoo smile and relax a little, he could clearly see that Jongin was nervous as well.  Which just got him more curious, what could this conversation turn into? Kyungsoo dreaded to think of a negative outcome - to have to cut Jongin off of their lives would not only destroy him but Junmyeon would crumble without Jongdae.

 

"So, Jongin..." he began, taking a deep breath before continuing. "What do you want to talk to me about? Is everything okay?"

He watched as the younger male squirmed in his seat, licking his lips and avoiding his eyes. "I...I need to tell you something" his voice was even softer than normal and Kyungsoo started to get really worried.

 

"B-but you have to promise it won't change things between us!" the younger quickly added, and apparently he had found strength to look into Kyungsoo's eyes.

 

 "You have to promise we'll still be friends, please hyung?"

 

"Of course, Jongin. We'll still be friends, no matter what."

 

And with that Kyungsoo had sealed his fate.

 


	10. Chapter 10

It had taken Jongin weeks just to gather the courage to confess. He had never even thought about voicing his feelings – surely, Kyungsoo would want nothing to do with a simple choreographer, not when he was a successful doctor. And as childish as it sounded, the dancer was only able to make up his mind about speaking to Kyungsoo because he got jealous.

Whenever he was around little Junmyeon, the boy would always gush about his ‘Chanyeollie-hyung’ or even some guy named Yifan. The toddler would go on and on and on about how much those men went to his house, and how sometimes this Chanyeol guy would sleep over. It was infuriating – and while completely irrational, as he was aware Kyungsoo probably didn’t feel the same way about him, not to mention allowed to have a life of his own. Still, Jongin couldn’t stop himself from growing more jealous as the time went by. 

And so, one day he just couldn’t take it. In a burst of courage, he took his phone and texted Kyungsoo to meet him up at a café. He had yet to talk to Jongdae about it, but he knew his son would love the idea of him dating Kyungsoo, knew that his baby would be so excited about spending more time with Junmyeon.

 

All he had to do now was confess and wait for Kyungsoo’s answer.

 

“I...I need to tell you something" he said, voice soft .

 

"B-but you have to promise it won't change things between us!" the younger quickly added, and apparently, he had found strength to look into Kyungsoo's eyes.

 

 "You have to promise we'll still be friends, please hyung?"

 

"Of course, Jongin. We'll still be friends, no matter what."

 

And so, taking a deep breath, Jongin confessed.

 

“H-hyung, I-I have feelings for you”

 

Saying it was liberating, even if he was certain he sounded stupid, letting go of all that anxiety and fear was unlike anything else. He just hopped the older man would return his feelings – or at least be willing to continue their friendship if he didn’t.

Jongin fidgeted as he waited for Kyungsoo to recover, to do something other than stare blankly ahead.

 

“Jongin-ah...” the other spoke, and the choreographer’s head shot up, brown eyes sparkling with hope and fear. He saw something in Kyungsoo’s big doe eyes, it didn’t look like rejection, didn’t look like hatred.

 

“I...” He seemed to stop to think for a second. “I have feelings for you too, Jongin.”

 

That had made the dancer smile brightly. He wouldn’t have imagined that Kyungsoo would return his feelings! And even if Jongin felt like a ‘ _but_ ’ was coming, he was still so ecstatic.

 

“But I...”

 

Oh, there it was. The so feared ‘but’, Jongin still felt confident because the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes did not feel like rejection.

 

“I don’t know how to go on from here” the doctor admitted and something in that made Jongin’s heart clench painfully. The other was so sweet and so kind, Jongin couldn’t really imagine how hurt he must have been to say that so meekly.

“It’s okay, hyung” he smiled, tentatively placing his hand on top of Kyungsoo’s. Trying to offer the older male some sort of comfort. “We can take this as slow as you want”

 

The dancer felt himself melting as he watched the shy smile blossom on Kyungsoo’s face.

 

“I would like that.”

 

Surprisingly enough, they didn’t struggle as much as both imagined they would. It was as if they just fit – two halves of a whole, or whatever the saying was.

 

They completed each other, blending very nicely. Their first few dates still carried that nervousness, that senseless anxiety that most newly couples have but soon they found a nice rhythm.

Needless to say, Chanyeol and Yixing were getting calls much more often to watch the kids. Neither seem to mind, and Jongin even managed to rope Sehun into taking care of Jongdae that time Yixing went back to China.

 

All in all, things went as smoothly as they could during the first few weeks.

 

“How are we going to tell them about this, Jongin-ah?” His hyung had asked him after dinner, as they walked around at dawn.

 

The dancer worried about that subject as well. How to tell their children that they were dating? Would they react well to this significant change? or would they absolutely hate it?

 Slowly, the taller male wrapped his arms around the doctor, nuzzling his face on the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. “Honestly hyung? I think Jongdae kind of already knows, and if he does certainly Junmyeonie does to.” he mused, his voice taking on that soft but whiny tone it always did when he was around Kyungsoo.

 

“You think so?” The small doctor asked, voice warm and fond, just like it always was when he spoke to Jongin. The dancer replied with a simple nod, placing a kiss on the other’s cheek.

 

“We should tell them this week, we can feed them enough candy they won’t even be able to get mad at us for hiding it from them” Jongin suggested, reluctantly letting go of the hug so they could continue walking home.

Kyungsoo laughed, bright and bubbly at the other’s idea. Obviously, he wouldn’t fill his son up with sugar to avoid a bad reaction, but it was amusing to imagine it.

 

“That’s a great idea” the doctor smiled at him, taking his hand on his smaller one. “We should really hurry up, though. I am sure Chanyeol and Yixing have other things they’d want to do on a Saturday night than to watch two kids”

 

Leaving Kyungsoo was always the hardest part of their dates. He didn’t want to be away from his boyfriend – and that sounded selfish and overly needy but that’s just how he felt. Still, he knew neither he nor Jongdae were ready for the relationship to take such big steps, not yet at least.

 

And with those thoughts on his mind and his son safely in his arms, Jongin made his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a total of 5 eternities since I've updated this story and I'm so so sorry! I'm dealing with college and writer's block so I'm struggling a lot! I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I hope you can somehow enjoy it a little bit. I'll try to tackle this fic and finish it now that the semester is ending. That being said, I will see you - hopefully soon - with another update.
> 
> -Lua


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you look at that? it didn't take my five years to update asdfghjklasdfghjkl anyway i hope you enjoy this! I've introduced some new dynamic here, that's going to be important later on. I estimated about 10 more chapters for the end of this monster so yeah! I'm excited, I'll try to keep updating regularly although we all know how that goes ;///
> 
> enough talking! enjoy! please don't forget to leave comments and scream at me about this!!
> 
> -lua

For Junmyeon, the novelty of school had died a few months ago. Sure, he was now a first grader, but still it hadn’t changed much from last year. He got to learn more things, but also got breaks to play and eat. One thing he did not enjoy at all was that they were no longer allowed to sleep. All in all, it was pretty boring. He imagined that if he was allowed to spend more time with Jongdae, things would be livelier and more interesting.

Their class went out for break a little earlier that day, Miss Joohyun saying that they’d been very good so they deserved a few more minutes of break. As usual, the small boy took his colouring book and crayons with him and sat at a table under the cherry tree in the yard. There he’d wait for Jongdae – his little brother – and they’d colour together and talk about anything and nothing at all.

 

Those moments were always the highlight of Junmyeon’s days.

 

And soon enough, he heard that very screechy voice he had learned to adore calling out his name.

 

“Junmyeon-hyung!!!”

 

The smile that took over the older boy’s face as he watched the younger running to him was bright and pure. Very much like their bond.

“Hyung! I’ve missed you! Class was so _boooring_ today” Jongdae whined, sitting across from the older. Stretching his _o_ ’s as a way to show Junmyeon just how boring his classes had been thus far, which just made the smaller boy giggle.

“I’m sorry, Jongdae-ah…” he said softly, the gentle smile still on his face as he watched the younger. “But maybe colouring superheroes will help?” Junmyeon suggested, finally showing him the newest book his father had bought him. Filled with pages upon pages of their favourite superheroes so they could colour.

 

“Yes!!”

 

Together they started working of a pretty cool spider-man picture, Jongdae in charge of the red and Junmyeon the blue. They didn’t exactly followed reality, because where was the fun in that? Still, they chatted and filled in the drawing, giggling and sharing stories from their time apart. Even if their parents were together now, they didn’t live in the same house – which Junmyeon was glad for. He enjoyed Jongin-hyung and Jongdae’s company, but he didn’t feel ready for it. Having someone other than his dad living with him reminded him too much of how it had been with mommy. People can be mean, but his dad would never hurt him.

Suddenly, both boys were startled by a loud voice calling for Jongdae.

 

“Ya!!! Jongdae-ah!!!”

 

And soon a blur of black hair joined them at their table.

 

“Baekhyunie!” Jongdae had exclaimed and immediately dropped his crayon, quickly standing up to greet his friend. Junmyeon went silent, never comfortable with new people, despite the fact that he knew Baekhyun.

“Kim Jongdae! We were waiting for you!” Baekhyun spoke, and the sound of his voice made Junmyeon flinch. It was very loud. “Come on! Let’s go play, Jun and Jisoo will be the robbers and so I need you to help me catch them!” the taller of the two began to pull Jongdae away, but the younger stopped.

 

“But I’m playing with Junmyeon-hyung…” he explained, looking back at the still quiet boy, who just watched them.

 

“Hm? What were you guys doing?” Baekhyun asked, and once he saw the book and crayons he laughed. Junmyeon didn’t like the sound of it. It felt like he was…mocking them. Which he would soon find out to be exactly that.

“Colouring?! That’s for babies, Jongdae-ah!” the look on the other’s eyes were slightly weird, and the older of the boys hunched a little bit more. “Let’s go, we won’t have a lot of time to play if we stay here” Baekhyun whined.

 

“Right.”

 

Hearing Jongdae agree with Baekhyun hurt a lot. Which shocked the older boy, he had never imagined Jongdae to stand by and watch – much less agree – with someone mocking him. Slowly he lifted his eyes, staring at his brother.

 

“Jongdae…?”

 

“Sorry, hyung. I don’t want to be a baby.”

 

Junmyeon felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. And he lowered his head to avoid letting them see the tears pooling in his eyes. He heard the boys leaving and sighed looking back at the unfinished drawing.

Carefully, he packed his crayons back up and when he looked back at the book, Junmyeon felt the urge to get rid of the unfinished spider-man. So he did, ripping the page from his book and making a ball out of it.

The trust he had on Jongdae had been broken, and as he walked back to the classroom, only stopping to throw away the paper ball in his hand, Junmyeon saw the two boys playing.

 

He felt a deep sense of…fear, and anxiety as he saw just how different Jongdae was around Baekhyun.

 

Junmyeon saw his sweet and gentle brother, being mean and violent on purpose. Pushing down his friends and laughing with Baekhyun as they got hurt. His eyes met Jongdae’s as he walked by them, and for the first time since they became friends, the older boy didn’t smile brightly at the younger. He simply looked away and kept walking inside.

 

Jongdae stopped for a moment, a weird nervousness filling his little heart as Junmyeon walked by without a smile. In that moment he had want to go after him, to ask about the paper he had thrown away. To ask if he was okay.

 

But then he looked back at Baekhyun.

 

He admired the other boy, they were the same age but Baekhyun was popular, and was considered so cool. Jongdae wanted that. He wanted to be like the other, wanted to be part of his group of friends, even if they were a little…mean.

So, Jongdae put on the cheeky smile on his face again and went after Jisoo once more time. Baekhyun’s voice echoed in his head every time he thought about stopping, about apologising.

 

_You don’t want to be a baby, do you Jongdae-ah?_

 

**No.**

 

No, he didn’t.

 

Junmyeon was in a bad mood after break, and all his classmates noticed. It was very unusual, even their teacher noticed and decided to direct her questions to other students this time. Letting the boy stay in his bubble for the rest of the day.

While he packed his back to leave, the small boy hoped his dad wouldn’t be late and that they’d go home – no detours, or surprises. Still, when he walked outside, he was met with Jongdae and his father, both waiting for him.

 

“Hyung!”

 

This time, the exclamation made him flinch and stop for a second before continuing to walk towards them.

 

“Junmyeonie, how was school?” Jongin-hyung asked him, and the small boy was only able to mumble a soft okay before shutting down. He didn’t want to talk, he wanted to go home and cuddle his dad. Thankfully, Jongdae filled their ride to Junmyeon’s apartment with mindless chatter. He knew they were trying to get him involved in the conversation, but Junmyeon didn’t bother to reply, looking out of the window and counting the seconds so he could run to his room.

 

It felt weird being with Jongdae now. It was as if he didn’t know who he was.

 

Why was he acting as if nothing had happened? Why was he pretending they were still best friends?

 

Junmyeon was confused, more over the fact that he still felt the pure, brotherly love for the younger boy than over what had happened earlier that day during lunch time.

 

As soon as they were out of the lift, Junmyeon ran to the door, only for it to open and the figure of his father to block his way. The relief of seeing the man made Junmyeon hiccup and throw himself in his father’s arms.

He loved being held in general, but that day it felt especially nice and grounding.

His father didn’t ask questions and held Junmyeon through the night – turns out Jongdae and Jongin-hyung would be staying for dinner, but even then, his dad never let go of him. Settling Junmyeon on his hips as he cooked.

 

Because he had his head buried in his father’s neck, Junmyeon missed the worried looks the adults shared.

 

There was something wrong, and it involved both of their children.

That night, Junmyeon barely ate. He talked very little and refused any attempts Jongdae made to play with him. He didn’t know how to act and would need some time to come to terms with what had happened.

 

Junmyeon would have to learn how to live knowing that Jongdae acted differently towards him when he was with his other friends.

**Author's Note:**

> So...that was it for now. I'll try to update this regularly given that it's summer vacation and I have literally nothing else to do. I don't really know where this is going, as you know from my other fanfictions, I have nothing planned we'll just go with the flow. I hope you enjoyed this! I'll see you soon <3 
> 
> \- lua


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